Fish

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Perspective...

When I am in there. If I see anything bad in there, I am just going to close you up. It will get pretty rough from there.

I had just skated off the ice. Something isn’t right. Breathing hurts. Being a goalie you learn quickly that the normal aches aren’t, well, normal. Tonight was no different. I had landed like a rock on cement. My sternum took the brunt of the fall.

Could be bile duct. Could be colon cancer. We don’t know. Once we open you up, we will know a lot more.

I set the shower water to incinerate. My toes are white with lack of circulation. A price to pay for cold nights and even colder ice rinks. The sensation is always the same – first there is a burning like my digits are on fire. Then there are the inevitable pins and needles followed by a warm rush of sensation. The pain from the sternum radiates over the left ribs. I turn up the heated water to a point where I can stand it any longer. The theory being I’ll burn the pain away.

If you want more morphine, just push the button.

After the shower, I stare at the scar. It runs over the sternum and down over my stomach. It is raging pink from the hot water. I am thinking Harry Potter ain’t got nothing on me. It still hurts to breathe.

The tube will stay in your side for a few more days. It’s draining fluid. It may be uncomfortable. Do you need something to sleep?

Rotating my torso doesn’t help. Doing side bends is a negative as well. I just choose to deep breathe to see how far I can go. I even hold my breath feeling my heart pound against the ache with a dull thud.

We checked with your cardiologist. He’s okay with the operation. Shouldn’t be a problem.

I hang up my mask and set my equipment to dry. Still hurting. The night is going to be tough, I think. Work beckons in the morning and no one will care about you injuring yourself in your personal hobby.

We will need you to keep breathing through this tube. It keeps your lungs from gathering fluid.

I think I am going to take a rest day. I’ve learned that injuries can derail a regimen for days and weeks at a time. Not a good thing when you are in training.

What you had hasn’t been found in more than 10 people in the entire world. It’s quite amazing actually.

We lost our game. In the past, I would have lamented for days. Losing hurts. Scalpels hurt more.

Whatever bruise I have garnered will manifest itself over the next few days. It really won’t slow me down. I can tell already. It will nag for a bit then go away. I keep deep breathing. This is a hurt I can deal with.

We don’t need to do anything. We took it out and now we will watch.

The game is over. Aches and pains just remind me that my life isn’t. Not by a long shot.